hit by a school bus...a short one none the less

psychics aren't always right. people choose to belive what they wish and leave the parts that they don't like. when a psychic says that you are going to suffer a terrible heroin addiction, but while you are in rehab you are going to meet your soulmate all at the age of 22, and then you are going to adopt a black dog and but die from cancer, you choose to hear what you want. your version is: you are going to meet the person of your dreams at 22 and live in a little house on the prarie and own a dog. and dying from cancer is a given...unfortunately, i think that everyone is going to have cancer whether they like it or not. psychics are people who have no control over their own life, so they choose to make up some crazy shit to occupy others. if i was a psychic, as soon as someone entered my little enchanted space and i decided that i didn't like them, i would make up some crazy shit. if a supermodel came to get a psychic reading from me, i would say that she better eat 4,000 calories a day, because she is going to lose her modeling job soon anyway, and she is going to grow old and become a cat lady, and obviously cats don't care what people look like. i would also tell her to give me an extra $20 because she would either gamble it away or use it to blow down a line of coke. psychics are shit. do you remember miss cleo? well, if you do, then she made a lasting impression with her shitty jamaican accent and those ridiculous tarot cards. if you really want a card reading, come to my house and i will shuffle a deck for you. we'll see how crazy things can get. and just for fun, if a guy came around to get a reading from me, i would tell him that he would have the opportunity to have a threesome with the hilton sisters, but due to the fact that he would have lost his penis in a terrible cooking accident, that would make him ineligible. i think from then on he would steer clear of women named lorraina...bobbit. just to see a guy wince at the fact that someday he might lose his penis is the reason i wake up everyday. i am a bitch...sweet. but there is one guy out there that has already theoretically lost his penis and his name will not be released...but his girlfiend knows who i am talking about...yaay jen.