hit by a school bus...a short one none the less

one of my pet peeves are those people that do not look in any direction before crossing the road. i know this is a college campus and all, and people have the right of way, but for god's sake, please look both ways before crossing the street. a guy just did this the other day in front of me. now, i know that if you get hit by a car on campus, you get free tuition as long as you go to the university, so maybe that's the motive behind it. but, i would much rather not have your body imprint on my car. but, if you would like me to, i could run your ass over and fix that popped up collar on the pavement. and speaking of popped up collars, that's a no. it just looks like you got dressed in the dark, and without a mirror. but if you still think that it looks cool, then you should be sporting some molester sun glasses, huge side burns, a white van with no windows and a cage in the back, and some cookies to lure in small children.

motherfuckers in mount pleasant are crazy. for those of you who haven't seen Mission, it's a 5 lane road. well, all of those crazy, toothless geriatrics around here like to be evil kenievel and zoom across 5 busy lanes of traffic in their little powered wheel chairs. they must have a death wish, or an obsession for running in the road like squirrels. those wheel chairs don't move very fast compared to a Honda. and, there is also a blind man that wanders around the streets. okay, how fucking ludicrous is that? he has a sight stick and everything, but i doubt that sight stick is going to see a pick up coming straight at him. i know i am going to hell for this, but i just think that people in mount pleasant are fucking nuts. if you have a handicap, please stay home or in a designated area. by all means, don't go out and and throw a block party in the middle of the highway.

so, this happened about a week or two ago, but i haven't been able to write about it because my internet sucks. some kid tried killing himself at central. this may seem like it's going to be a sad and un-entertaining post, but just wait. i know i shouldn't make fun of people, but when a guy has an unbearable craving for his forehead, then it gets amusing. that's right, he tried killing himself by stabbing his own head with a fork. repeatedly. this kid was sitting in the dining commons when he decided to go all hannibal lechter. there are a few things that are going to come out of this event:
1. a killer headache
2. the result to plastic silverware in the cafeteria.
3. that guy never having friends, because they will all live in fear that he will mistake their heads for a Thanksgiving feast.

on a lighter note, i did part-take in some of the drunken festivities at CMU. on saturday it seemed like a great idea to jell-o wrestle. there's a first time for everything, so why the hell not. my feet are stained pink, but it is just a good reminder that my saturday night kicked ass.