Tuesday, October 26, 2004
things on my list that rock: (because i have nothing else to write about at this moment)
1. Team America: World Police. fuckin' love it. if you haven't seen this already, i advise you do so. great acting, and i think we have found our next jenna jameson and ron jeremy...except with strings attached to them.
2. haunted houses. halloween is my favorite fucking holiday...i am ready to get the shit scared out of me from some cheesy, hillbilly production.
3. it's really sweet when you get to witness a guy try and wax his own chest. that was some damn good entertainment.
4. i think i am still caught up on number 3. i just might piss myself.
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1. Team America: World Police. fuckin' love it. if you haven't seen this already, i advise you do so. great acting, and i think we have found our next jenna jameson and ron jeremy...except with strings attached to them.
2. haunted houses. halloween is my favorite fucking holiday...i am ready to get the shit scared out of me from some cheesy, hillbilly production.
3. it's really sweet when you get to witness a guy try and wax his own chest. that was some damn good entertainment.
4. i think i am still caught up on number 3. i just might piss myself.
Friday, October 15, 2004
laguna beach. a new reality tv show on mtv that follows around rich, spoiled, dumb ass high school kids. i really don't care to see them whine and bitch about driving an old range rover when they want to be sporting a lexus. get over the fact that your parents provide everything for you and you throw away their money like week old trash. so, you have the chance to go to fashion shows and live on an expensive beach. this does not make you who you are. look at me, i am from ortonville and i manage to still have all of my teeth...just because i came from a town that sounds like it harvests in-bred NRA members, does not mean that i am lacking a chromosome or two. laguna beach sounds nice and all, but when you think about it, any location with the word "beach" is going to house shallow, conceited, dumb ass mother fuckers. and, we definitely don't need a tv shows elaborating on how self-centered these people are. i could go to rochester to see that.
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Tuesday, October 05, 2004
so, tailgating this past weekend was a success...but i did find something to bitch about. no surprise there. it's 8 in the morning, and some girls find it necessary to dress like it's their birthday. not to mention its 35 degrees outside. i think i should make a handbook for dummies about the rules of tailgating. here it goes:
1. you do not need to shower and primp before tailgating. by the time everyone leaves, they will all be drunk and think that you look stunning no matter what.
2. do not wear a skirt. especially if you are dancing on the tailgate of a truck. enough said.
3. high heels are not necessary. i am sure that they really compliment the color of the port-a-potties when you are squatting and taking a piss.
4. your louis vuitton purse can stay at home. no one cares that you dropped an un-godly amount of cash on your fucking purse. if you can't crack the top and drink it, it's worthless to us tailgaters.
5. take advantage of the free food. hot dogs are given out all the time, so feel free to take one to help soak up all of that alcohol. don't worry, you won't get fat from one single hot dog, but you will, however, because you drank a whole 12-pack to yourself.
with this guide, i think that i can improve the conditions of tailgating. and if i see any more dumb ass girls looking like they are going to the club at 8 in the morning when i probably haven't even brushed my teeth yet, i think i am going to vomit on myself. wear a sweatshirt and jeans like the rest of us, and maybe i won't look at you weird and have to write another post in my blog about your gay ass.
1. you do not need to shower and primp before tailgating. by the time everyone leaves, they will all be drunk and think that you look stunning no matter what.
2. do not wear a skirt. especially if you are dancing on the tailgate of a truck. enough said.
3. high heels are not necessary. i am sure that they really compliment the color of the port-a-potties when you are squatting and taking a piss.
4. your louis vuitton purse can stay at home. no one cares that you dropped an un-godly amount of cash on your fucking purse. if you can't crack the top and drink it, it's worthless to us tailgaters.
5. take advantage of the free food. hot dogs are given out all the time, so feel free to take one to help soak up all of that alcohol. don't worry, you won't get fat from one single hot dog, but you will, however, because you drank a whole 12-pack to yourself.
with this guide, i think that i can improve the conditions of tailgating. and if i see any more dumb ass girls looking like they are going to the club at 8 in the morning when i probably haven't even brushed my teeth yet, i think i am going to vomit on myself. wear a sweatshirt and jeans like the rest of us, and maybe i won't look at you weird and have to write another post in my blog about your gay ass.
