Saturday, August 20, 2005
it was yet another exciting episode of "Mount Pleasant 48858" last night. started off at dustin's staring at his girlfriend's breasts that were obnoxiously hanging out of her shirt...i couldn't look away...oh, we played drinking games, too. then megan and i went to o'kelly's. after too many drinks and a public display of affection...insert lesbian joke here...we proceeded to drink and go to another bar. big mistake. i talked everyone's ears off, got cut off at the bar, got jumped on by a friend and then we fell into a wall, walked home, lost a flip flop, tried to climb a fence and amazingly did not get hit by a car. all followed up with dry heaving in the bathroom at work today.
bottom line: renee has a drinking problem that leads to loss of shoes. but at least i still have my wife...why he's with me, i have no idea....maybe it's because i am drunk entertainment and a borderline lesbian. (sorry, megs, i love you, but i would never date you, i don't want to always be known as "the butch one" and you are too high maintainence for me.)
gee, we should have capped off the night by going streaking. that would have been sweet.
in other news, jonathan taylor thomas is not gay. leave the artist formerly known as randy taylor alone. it's not like he asked to be 5'4''.
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bottom line: renee has a drinking problem that leads to loss of shoes. but at least i still have my wife...why he's with me, i have no idea....maybe it's because i am drunk entertainment and a borderline lesbian. (sorry, megs, i love you, but i would never date you, i don't want to always be known as "the butch one" and you are too high maintainence for me.)
gee, we should have capped off the night by going streaking. that would have been sweet.
in other news, jonathan taylor thomas is not gay. leave the artist formerly known as randy taylor alone. it's not like he asked to be 5'4''.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
renee's idea of a love letter:
dear (fill in the blank),
words cannot describe how much i love you...mostly because when the gag ball is in my mouth, it's hard to speak. you are the apple of my eye, the yin to my yang, and that sensation in my nether area...or maybe that's the crabs. whenever i see you, i get a feeling in my stomach that could be described as butterflies, but to me, it feels more like a dry heave. i love you because you we fit perfectly together like whitney and bobby, minus the black part. i love you because i know that if we live that long, you will love it when i whisper sweet nothings in to your ear with my voice box. love is a friendship that is set on fire, and everything else set on fire is arson, so basically, love is arson that i can't get arrested for. i love you like a fat kid loves cake, or cookies, or twinkies, or anything coated in sugar and sprinkles for that matter that can lead to childhood obesity and juvenile diabetes. i never thought i would find someone like you, mostly because i usually give up too easily if i can't find something. i think it's important that your friends like me, they all say i give some pretty good head...but i am straying from the subject. what i am trying to say is that i truly love you...well, this week, anyway.
love, yours temporarily,
(writer's name here)
dear (fill in the blank),
words cannot describe how much i love you...mostly because when the gag ball is in my mouth, it's hard to speak. you are the apple of my eye, the yin to my yang, and that sensation in my nether area...or maybe that's the crabs. whenever i see you, i get a feeling in my stomach that could be described as butterflies, but to me, it feels more like a dry heave. i love you because you we fit perfectly together like whitney and bobby, minus the black part. i love you because i know that if we live that long, you will love it when i whisper sweet nothings in to your ear with my voice box. love is a friendship that is set on fire, and everything else set on fire is arson, so basically, love is arson that i can't get arrested for. i love you like a fat kid loves cake, or cookies, or twinkies, or anything coated in sugar and sprinkles for that matter that can lead to childhood obesity and juvenile diabetes. i never thought i would find someone like you, mostly because i usually give up too easily if i can't find something. i think it's important that your friends like me, they all say i give some pretty good head...but i am straying from the subject. what i am trying to say is that i truly love you...well, this week, anyway.
love, yours temporarily,
(writer's name here)
