hit by a school bus...a short one none the less

i haven't been to the bar to go dancing in a while. i had forgotten how some of the girls dress and what drunk people really look like when you are sober. now that i work at a bar, i observed some outfits/behavior last night. first, all of the girls dressed the exact same way. they all looked as if they walked straight out of the pages of an abercrombie quarterly magazine. they all wore frilly little (i mean LITTLE) spring colored skirts and tank tops. now, don't get me wrong, they all looked cute, but they also looked like they were mass produced. now, when a skirt is so low that it barely covers the start of your butt crack, and it's so short that you see their outer labia hanging out of the bottom, it's time to either a)buy a bigger skirt, or b)buy a skirt with more fabric to it. everyone at the club has seen what a naked female looks like, so we don't need further anatomy lessons by seeing your lack of clothing that you wear to go out. now drunk people are really funny when you are really sober. don't try to buy alcohol when you still have red "X's" on your hands. if you are too drunk when you got there to realize that "X" means no, and you think that you might trick someone into selling you alcohol, then you are obviously too plastered to consume another beverage. and i have to hand it to the white guys for the "worst dancing ever" award. alcohol definitely does not increase your ability to wang chung, so don't even try it. and finally, girls with enormous breasts, please use support before entering the dance floor. a simple nipple tassle is not going to hold up your huge rack. when you go and bust a move, your tits decide to bust out of your top. your dancing isn't pretty and neither are your stretch-marked udders.

one final note: i did see a pair of fake boobs last night. first, they looked like a crappy tit job, because breasts aren't supposed to look like snow cones, and second, you can tell they are fake when the girl is dancing and moving but her breasts are not. dead giveaway.