Monday, June 21, 2004
i know it's been said before, but reality tv has really wore itself out. some of these titles really make me think. there's "who wants to marry my dad," "paradise hotel," "average joe," and others along those lines. if some of the show titles were changed to "who wants to marry my toothless uncle fester," or "fleabag motel" i don't think that too many people would apply to be on them. but what's the difference anyway? it's all the same. people sell themselves out to be on tv and fall in love with someone that they have known for a month or so. and for what? they win a prize? who the fuck cares. you just embarassed yourself in front of millions and preached about how you fell in love with bob or andrew (the bachelor for those of you who live under a rock). so, no prize could compensate for my humiliaiton that i objected myself to. and becoming the new bachelorette would not help to ease the pain of me being a dumbass and falling in love with a gump named bob guiney. if this really was reality tv, the shows would be much more realistic. here are some of my versions of some reality tv shows and the real prizes that someone could win.
1. "who wants to be my baby's daddy?" many men, or not, compete to care for a trashy girl and her seven children that she has no idea who they belong to. the winner, if the guys even stick around this long, gets a cheap apartment in the projects and a case of malt liquor.
2. "the frat brother." (a take off of the bachelor) a frat brother gets to go on dates with ten chosen sorority girls. dates include: throwing empty kegs off of the frat house roof, games of scrabble with obscene words, and a pizza and beer chug relay. the frat brother chooses one girl that he will spend 4 nights with, until the slutty sorority chick finds someone new. what does he win? herpes.
3. "afro island." this show documents a bunch of white people who are dropped off at an island full of african americans. (let me say here that i am not racist, mmmkay?) the white people need to try and keep their "cracker-ness" and not turn into a total eminem. those who manage to keep their pants above their ass crack and listen to country by the end of the voyage, win the ultimate prize. the white people win: (for ratings and humor benfits) a slap in the face by rick james, a full night of lil john saying "okay," "yeah," and "what" right in their ear, and a fifth of hennessy. if they are still white after that, god bless them.
with minor changes to the reality tv line up, i think some of these new reality tv shows will portray reality well. if you have any good ideas for tv shows, leave them in my comment section. maybe if there are enough ideas, we could send them to FOX and CBS and see if any get picked up for next season.
1. "who wants to be my baby's daddy?" many men, or not, compete to care for a trashy girl and her seven children that she has no idea who they belong to. the winner, if the guys even stick around this long, gets a cheap apartment in the projects and a case of malt liquor.
2. "the frat brother." (a take off of the bachelor) a frat brother gets to go on dates with ten chosen sorority girls. dates include: throwing empty kegs off of the frat house roof, games of scrabble with obscene words, and a pizza and beer chug relay. the frat brother chooses one girl that he will spend 4 nights with, until the slutty sorority chick finds someone new. what does he win? herpes.
3. "afro island." this show documents a bunch of white people who are dropped off at an island full of african americans. (let me say here that i am not racist, mmmkay?) the white people need to try and keep their "cracker-ness" and not turn into a total eminem. those who manage to keep their pants above their ass crack and listen to country by the end of the voyage, win the ultimate prize. the white people win: (for ratings and humor benfits) a slap in the face by rick james, a full night of lil john saying "okay," "yeah," and "what" right in their ear, and a fifth of hennessy. if they are still white after that, god bless them.
with minor changes to the reality tv line up, i think some of these new reality tv shows will portray reality well. if you have any good ideas for tv shows, leave them in my comment section. maybe if there are enough ideas, we could send them to FOX and CBS and see if any get picked up for next season.
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