hit by a school bus...a short one none the less

the praying mantis. this creature is very intriguing for the fact that it has a strange after mating ritual. for those of you who don't know, the female praying mantis bites off the head of the male after they are done humping. if people did this, i think it would make things a lot easier. not necessarily the female biting off the male's head, but vice versa as well. if people could have a one night stand with someone, and then simply bite off their partner's head after the deed is done, then you wouldn't have to worry about calling them a week later out of sympathy. and as for those crabs that you got, your partner would have already been taken care of, so there is no need to seek revenge. it goes with the old saying, "wham, bam, thank you ma'am, now i am going to eat your head." this may seem like a joke, but sex is already considered a joke, anyway. no one takes it seriously anymore, so we might as well humiliate ourselves by trying to bite off someone's head. i think that animals have it right when it comes to mating. most of them just romp around, have sex with anything that has 4 legs, and they call it a day. there is no whining, or turning off the lights when it comes time to do it. they just do what needs to be done, either for pleasure, or for the sake of reproduction. i know that male lions are not only the king of the jungle, but they are players, too. they have sex multiple times a day, and they go through women like toilet paper. but as for penguins, they have to break the animal mating mold. these animals spend their whole life looking for the right mate, and when they find it, they stick with them forever. wow. that's one animal that has seen romeo and juliette one too many times. they are still caught up in the fact that true love actually exists and they have jessica simpson as a role model. no sex 'till marraige. those hopeful romantics need to be sent to the ghetto and look at all of those broken homes, and listen to the stories about how baby daddys left single mothers for white trash teenage girls. then, we'll see if they wait around for their soulmate, or hop on the next best thing and get down to business.