Tuesday, October 05, 2004
so, tailgating this past weekend was a success...but i did find something to bitch about. no surprise there. it's 8 in the morning, and some girls find it necessary to dress like it's their birthday. not to mention its 35 degrees outside. i think i should make a handbook for dummies about the rules of tailgating. here it goes:
1. you do not need to shower and primp before tailgating. by the time everyone leaves, they will all be drunk and think that you look stunning no matter what.
2. do not wear a skirt. especially if you are dancing on the tailgate of a truck. enough said.
3. high heels are not necessary. i am sure that they really compliment the color of the port-a-potties when you are squatting and taking a piss.
4. your louis vuitton purse can stay at home. no one cares that you dropped an un-godly amount of cash on your fucking purse. if you can't crack the top and drink it, it's worthless to us tailgaters.
5. take advantage of the free food. hot dogs are given out all the time, so feel free to take one to help soak up all of that alcohol. don't worry, you won't get fat from one single hot dog, but you will, however, because you drank a whole 12-pack to yourself.
with this guide, i think that i can improve the conditions of tailgating. and if i see any more dumb ass girls looking like they are going to the club at 8 in the morning when i probably haven't even brushed my teeth yet, i think i am going to vomit on myself. wear a sweatshirt and jeans like the rest of us, and maybe i won't look at you weird and have to write another post in my blog about your gay ass.
1. you do not need to shower and primp before tailgating. by the time everyone leaves, they will all be drunk and think that you look stunning no matter what.
2. do not wear a skirt. especially if you are dancing on the tailgate of a truck. enough said.
3. high heels are not necessary. i am sure that they really compliment the color of the port-a-potties when you are squatting and taking a piss.
4. your louis vuitton purse can stay at home. no one cares that you dropped an un-godly amount of cash on your fucking purse. if you can't crack the top and drink it, it's worthless to us tailgaters.
5. take advantage of the free food. hot dogs are given out all the time, so feel free to take one to help soak up all of that alcohol. don't worry, you won't get fat from one single hot dog, but you will, however, because you drank a whole 12-pack to yourself.
with this guide, i think that i can improve the conditions of tailgating. and if i see any more dumb ass girls looking like they are going to the club at 8 in the morning when i probably haven't even brushed my teeth yet, i think i am going to vomit on myself. wear a sweatshirt and jeans like the rest of us, and maybe i won't look at you weird and have to write another post in my blog about your gay ass.
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