Wednesday, April 06, 2005
it is a bad idea to have a child if:
~you think it would be cool if you could train them to jump through hoops. that's what seaworld is for...and dolphins are probably a lot better at doing that.
~you need some form of entertainment because you are bored. why don't you just go play mini golf?
~you think it is important to carry on the ingenious genes that god had gifted you with. if you have not a cure for cancer, or cannot solve a rubix cube in 3 seconds, your genes are useless. your offspring would most likely just grow up to watch jerry springer and know how to open beer cans with their teeth....although, that cave man quality is pretty impressive....
~you are too lazy to do chores yourself. hire a maid for christ's sake.
~you are under the age of 21. if you can't drink, how the hell are you going to put up with children?
~your boyfriend thinks it's a good idea. um, last time i checked, he wasn't the one who was going to get fat and push something the size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of a dime.
~you have a severe drinking problem. i am not talking about the damage that a fetus (i just said "fetus"...eww) can receive while in the womb, but after it's born. the teachers will not be impressed when a pre-schooler can shotgun a beer.
~you have massive amounts of body hair. this one should be obvious...your teen-wolf child will shun you for creating offspring...thank you, hereditary genes.
~you have a knack for doing stupid things....over and over. why is it that only the stupid genes always get passed down?
~you think it would be cool if you could train them to jump through hoops. that's what seaworld is for...and dolphins are probably a lot better at doing that.
~you need some form of entertainment because you are bored. why don't you just go play mini golf?
~you think it is important to carry on the ingenious genes that god had gifted you with. if you have not a cure for cancer, or cannot solve a rubix cube in 3 seconds, your genes are useless. your offspring would most likely just grow up to watch jerry springer and know how to open beer cans with their teeth....although, that cave man quality is pretty impressive....
~you are too lazy to do chores yourself. hire a maid for christ's sake.
~you are under the age of 21. if you can't drink, how the hell are you going to put up with children?
~your boyfriend thinks it's a good idea. um, last time i checked, he wasn't the one who was going to get fat and push something the size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of a dime.
~you have a severe drinking problem. i am not talking about the damage that a fetus (i just said "fetus"...eww) can receive while in the womb, but after it's born. the teachers will not be impressed when a pre-schooler can shotgun a beer.
~you have massive amounts of body hair. this one should be obvious...your teen-wolf child will shun you for creating offspring...thank you, hereditary genes.
~you have a knack for doing stupid things....over and over. why is it that only the stupid genes always get passed down?
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