Monday, April 11, 2005
so, you "want a famous face?" take some tips from me and the procedure will be cheaper...and less painful.
so, you want to be/look like:
~britney. easy, get hair extensions and let them show as much as possible, dye your hair more than you should, and pack on a few pounds so everyone can think you're pregnant. oh, and don't forget to find that husband that looks like he just rummaged through the dumpster for dinner.
~paris. dye your hair a shade of blonde that looks so painfully fake, practice keeping one eye lazy with the eyelid half shut, dance on tables like a drunken idiot, reduce your vocabulary down to one phrase, "that's hot," and tote a chihuahua that looks like it has to piss nervously all over the place. oh, you have to practice that whole night vision eye glow thing, and show your vagina in public at least twice a week.
~christina. pierce every flap of skin that you have, wear so much black eyeliner that it looks like tar, and don't forget the ass-less chaps.
~nicole ritchie. get addicted to heroin, lose a bunch of weight, then run around and say "fuck" a lot.
~angelina jolie. make out with the ass end of a bee. that stinger should puff out your lips just about right. or, you could date ike turner...he could probably puff out your lips pretty good too...and your cheeks, nose, jaw, eye...damn tina, throw a steak on it.
~lindsey lohan. water bra...that should do it.
~justin timberlake. put your hair in corn-rows and dance around like a faggot. and throw in a high pitched "i just got kicked in the nuts" voice and you've got the whole package.
so, you want to be/look like:
~britney. easy, get hair extensions and let them show as much as possible, dye your hair more than you should, and pack on a few pounds so everyone can think you're pregnant. oh, and don't forget to find that husband that looks like he just rummaged through the dumpster for dinner.
~paris. dye your hair a shade of blonde that looks so painfully fake, practice keeping one eye lazy with the eyelid half shut, dance on tables like a drunken idiot, reduce your vocabulary down to one phrase, "that's hot," and tote a chihuahua that looks like it has to piss nervously all over the place. oh, you have to practice that whole night vision eye glow thing, and show your vagina in public at least twice a week.
~christina. pierce every flap of skin that you have, wear so much black eyeliner that it looks like tar, and don't forget the ass-less chaps.
~nicole ritchie. get addicted to heroin, lose a bunch of weight, then run around and say "fuck" a lot.
~angelina jolie. make out with the ass end of a bee. that stinger should puff out your lips just about right. or, you could date ike turner...he could probably puff out your lips pretty good too...and your cheeks, nose, jaw, eye...damn tina, throw a steak on it.
~lindsey lohan. water bra...that should do it.
~justin timberlake. put your hair in corn-rows and dance around like a faggot. and throw in a high pitched "i just got kicked in the nuts" voice and you've got the whole package.
Comments:
Post a Comment
