Wednesday, May 04, 2005
renee can now die a happy woman and know that she accomplished just about every goal she set for herself. last night...in a buzzed up state, renee...who obviously talks about herself in third person....felt two pairs of fake breasts. not just one, but two...two pairs of water baloons that felt like they were stuffed with flour and surgically placed in a female's chest. one of the pairs was painfully fake that could be noticed across the bar, and after stalking her for about a minute, i finally grew the balls to tell her that i wasn't a lesbian, but i wanted to cop a feel on those large monuments. she looked a little suprised, probably because she wasn't drunk yet, but agreed to have me feel her up. the second encounter happened in a bathroom...i felt a little like george michael with this one. these were not so noticably fake...they were normal sized and covered up. my friend started talking to her and found out that her breasts were definitely purchased. after applying a two hand grip on this set, i came to the conclusion that breast implants are a bad idea. but, i said that they felt nice, because who wants to buy something really expensive and have people talk bad about it? i wouldn't talk shit about someone's bentley...although a bentley would look really wierd surgically implanted in a girls chest.
over-all, i think that fake boobies are bad for three reasons:
1. they cost too damn much. if you want to blow your money on something that could be potentially harmful to your body, blow your money on drugs...that way, when you are all doped up, you will forget about your itty bitty titties.
2. you have to replace them every so often. as if the first surgery wouldn't be bad enough, you will have to endure more to have them "refreshed." i hated having my nose pierced twice, let alone someone rip open my fun bags every eight years or so to keep my fake boobs healthy.
3. they don't move. if you bounce around, they stay in one place. if i am going to pay so much for boobs, at least give me mobile ones. geeze.
my mom calls this one of my "lesbian adventures." just because i have an infatuation with touching breast implants doesn't make me a lesbian, right? i just wanted to feel a fake boob...it's not my fault that they are connected to a girl's chest.
over-all, i think that fake boobies are bad for three reasons:
1. they cost too damn much. if you want to blow your money on something that could be potentially harmful to your body, blow your money on drugs...that way, when you are all doped up, you will forget about your itty bitty titties.
2. you have to replace them every so often. as if the first surgery wouldn't be bad enough, you will have to endure more to have them "refreshed." i hated having my nose pierced twice, let alone someone rip open my fun bags every eight years or so to keep my fake boobs healthy.
3. they don't move. if you bounce around, they stay in one place. if i am going to pay so much for boobs, at least give me mobile ones. geeze.
my mom calls this one of my "lesbian adventures." just because i have an infatuation with touching breast implants doesn't make me a lesbian, right? i just wanted to feel a fake boob...it's not my fault that they are connected to a girl's chest.
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